America’s Favorite Film Critic Hate, Hate, Hated These Movies
Roger Ebert used both his newspaper and television platforms to help people discover countless great films. But let’s take a look back at the films that instead drew the heaviest amount of ire from the world’s most famous critic.
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
This 1982 teen comedy basically redefined the genre. Roger Ebert on the other hand was appalled by its frank sexuality, wagging his finger at both the makers of the film and its audience.
Universal, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Armageddon
Michael Bay’s 1998 asteroid blockbuster delighted many audience members worldwide with its sheer stupidity and noisy soundtrack. Ebert was not so pleased though, calling out its abuse of aggressive, non-continuity editing as an affront to the medium of cinema.
Pink Flamingos
John Waters revolutionized independent and cult cinema in the early 1970s with his bad taste classic, Pink Flamingos. Some critics saw “bad taste” as literally unappealing though, as evidenced by a certain someone’s zero-star review.
Dreamland, Pink Flamingos (1972)
Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter
In a very dramatic on-air review, Ebert went about holding the rote fourth slasher entry “accountable” for sending the nihilistic message to teenagers that nothing mattered. It didn’t prevent another six sequels from being made.
Paramount, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
The Village
Ebert had been a champion of the works of M Night Shyamalan, so that’s why his one-star review of the director’s 2004 effort reads like a disappointed parent handing out a punishment. This perhaps inspired Shyamalan to have a critic character mauled by a wolf in his next film, Lady in the Water.
Touchstone, The Village (2004)
Freddy Got Fingered
Tom Green’s 2001 gross-out comedy Freddy Got Fingered was considered an affront to taste. Roger Ebert felt the same as the critical consensus, but made sure to drop highbrow references to Luis Bunuel and Salvador Dali in the process of ripping it apart.
New Regency Productions, Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Ebert’s pan of Rob Schneider’s low-brow comedy sequel was so harsh, it started a feud between the two of them. Thankfully, it was amended when Schneider sent him flowers in the hospital.
Columbia, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
Clifford
Since reclaimed as a bizarro cult classic, the Martin Short-starring bomb Clifford deeply puzzled the critic, who didn’t seem to understand the central comedic concept of the adult star playing a young boy.
Orion Pictures, Clifford (1994)
Blue Velvet
While David Lynch’s sexually charged and violent mystery thriller was stunning audiences and critics, Ebert served as the outlier, feeling deeply offended by the director’s use of star Isabella Rossellini in several shocking scenes.
Saving Silverman
Roger Ebert made sure to dedicate a whole paragraph of his half-star pan to accosting a fellow critic who went about praising this 2001 film with the faint praise of not containing any flatulence gags.
Columbia, Saving Silverman (2001)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The glossy 2003 remake of the horror classic earned the rare Ebert zero-star rating. While far less shocking than the original, something about the slick studio product still managed to offend his sensibilities.
New Line Cinema, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!
The 90s for Sylvester Stallone was defined by one stinker after another. The biggest offender, the comedy Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot!, which appalled critics everywhere.
Universal, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
Dirty Love
This 2005 star vehicle for model Jenny McCarthy was awarded the much-vaunted zero-star rating by Ebert. That being said, in a fit of the male gaze, he made sure to still note, multiple times throughout his damning review, how attractive he found her.
Big Screen Entertainment Group, Dirty Love (2005)
Battlefield Earth
This 2000 L Ron Hubbard adaptation was instantly deemed one of the worst films ever made upon release. America’s favorite film critic took his review as an opportunity to give star John Travolta a career pep talk.
Morgan Creek Entertainment, Battlefield Earth (2000)
Taste Of Cherry
Iranian director Abbas Kiarostami changed the way people saw cinema with his avant-garde dramas. Ebert, however, in reviewing the 1997 Palme d’Or winner, accused other critics of propping up what he called essentially a pretentious phony.
CiBy 2000, Taste of Cherry (1997)
In Praise Of Love
Ebert’s one-star review of legendary director Jean-Luc Godard’s 2001 feature mostly takes him to task for using the film to criticize America, Hollywood, and Steven Spielberg. Something about this art film got Ebert deeply defensive.
Avventura Films, In Praise of Love (2001)
V/H/S
You’d think that Ebert would soften with age over his natural dislike of horror films, but this indie anthology film he was assigned to cover in the last year of his life conjured up memories of his angry reviews of 70s and 80s grindhouse pictures.
Bloody Disgusting, V/H/S (2012)
The Human Centipede
You almost feel bad for the notably squeamish Roger Ebert that he had to endure this notorious gross-out item. His review was about as kind as you’d expect.
Six Entertainment, The Human Centipede (2009)
Mr Magoo
There was a point in time when Leslie Nielsen was awarded one star vehicle after another. Ebert had no time for these films though, going as far as to describe the 1997 effort as “transcendently bad”.
Radio Flyer
This 1992 drama was advertised as a heartwarming family film but in reality was a wrenching magical realist work about child abuse. Ebert seemed so deeply offended by the bait-and-switch of the film’s marketing that he took his review as an opportunity to accost the filmmakers for even treading the tricky territory.
Orgazmo
Released the same year South Park premiered, the Trey Parker-starring raunchy comedy Orgazmo didn’t capture people’s imagination as much as that transgressive show. But harsher than that was Ebert, who went about using the review to meditate on the term “sophomoric”.
Wolf Creek
Not many people remember this 2005 Australian slasher, but it’s at least partly endured the test of time thanks to Ebert’s incensed zero-star review. The critic pushed back against the idea that fellow critics were supposed to praise the director for effectively filming brutality.
Mandingo
This notorious slavery drama from 1975 inspired Ebert to mostly rant about kids in the theater being exposed to things they shouldn’t see. Won’t somebody please think of the children!
Death Race 2000
Hot off his scalding zero-star pan of Mandigo, Ebert afforded another blank rating to a 1975 film. He gave the similar reasoning of being shocked and offended that a number of children were in the theater witnessing such a violent film.
New World Pictures, Death Race 2000 (1975)
Death Wish II
The Charles Bronson-starring sequel to his urban vigilante classic upset many critics, though it seemed to more just disappoint Ebert, who considered it more lifeless than anything.
City Films, Death Wish II (1982)
Boat Trip
This 2003 gay panic comedy starring Cuba Gooding Jr offered one of Ebert’s harshest reviews, saying it essentially wasn’t worth getting offended over because it was too stupid and unfunny to even give any consideration in the first place.
Pootie Tang
Some movie fans have argued that Louis CK and Chris Rock’s parody of the blaxploitation genre is actually a subversive comedy classic. Needless to say, one critic from Chicago had the complete opposite take, awarding a score of half a star.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Ebert’s review of this 2004 zombie sequel admittedly contains one of his most withering insults in which he encourages parents to not allow any teenagers who confessed to liking it to date their children.
Constantin Film, Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Slackers
Despite a strong young cast, this 2002 college comedy didn’t impress any critics, chief amongst them the Chicago Sun-Times stalwart who went about listing every gross-out scene one by one with disapproval.
Alliance Atlantis Communications, Slackers (2002)
13 Ghosts
The critic’s review of this largely forgotten 2001 horror remake is him largely complaining about the movie cranking up the sound too loudly. There was always a new way for a movie to tick him off.
Warner Bros., Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Tomcats
The number of gross-out comedies made in the wake of There’s Something About Mary and American Pie clearly got to Ebert’s head. Thus, zero stars for what would be considered ultimately a harmless film.
Revolution Studios, Tomcats (2001)
Wet Hot American Summer
Being a film critic can likely be a boring job sometimes. That’s why Ebert kept himself amused by writing his pan of this 2001 cult classic as a parody of Allan Sherman’s novelty song “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (A Letter From Camp)”.
Eureka Pictures, Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Half Past Dead
A 2002 Steven Seagal vehicle is definitely low hanging fruit for any film critic. This didn’t stop Chicago’s favorite son from ripping it apart in a half-star review.
Franchise Pictures, Half Past Dead (2002)
The Girl Next Door
Remember the 2004 teen comedy that was supposed to turn Elisha Cuthbert into a movie star? You probably don’t, but it stirred Roger Ebert enough to accuse the studio behind it of moral wrongdoing.
New Regency Productions, The Girl Next Door (2004)
Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever
The legacy of Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever is mostly the hilarious title. Ebert couldn’t even laugh at that in a review that seemed angry at the state of disposable action movies in general.
Franchise Pictures, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
Caligula
“Sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash”. Roger, tell us how you really felt?
Felix Cinematografica, Caligula (1979)
Hardly Working
Legendary comedian Jerry Lewis’ comeback to the big screen was a surprising commercial success when released in the spring of 1981. Critics made sure to signal their disapproval though, with Ebert deeming it one of the most incompetent films to ever receive a commercial release.
Twentieth Century, Hardly Working (1981)
Charlie’s Angels
This girls’ night classic from 2000 is well regarded by most film fans, but something about its hyper-modern, music video approach made Ebert feel like an old man, feeling the need to call it more a video game than movie.
Columbia, Charlie's Angels (2000)
She’s Out Of Control
The 1989 Tony Danza comedy on the surface would appear harmless, but it seemed to inspire thoughts of retiring from criticism for both Roger Ebert and his television co-host Gene Siskel.
Upstart Productions, She's Out of Control (1989)
North
After a hot streak of films that included This Is Spinal Tap, The Princess Bride, and When Harry Met Sally, Rob Reiner bombed spectacularly with this 1994 kids film. Ebert made sure to hold him accountable with a zero-star evisceration that used the word “hated” 10 times in one paragraph. It's now known as one of Ebert's most infamous reviews.
